It's a wolf spider. I know that because last summer I went looking for books to add to my photography collection. I always shop secondhand because I like bargains, which is a nice way of saying I don’t have much money. Anyway, I ended up buying “The Audubon Field Guide to Insects and Spiders of North America” at a flea market. It cost fifty cents and was in good shape except someone spilled coffee on it.
I turned to the section on arachnids and found out that what lives in my garage is a wolf spider. When I asked my brother Eddie how a half-inch spider could grow to the size of a Volkswagen he shrugged and said I should ask the people who wrote the book. The problem is that I’d need to send them a picture. And taking a picture of her is a bad idea.